OK, so I have never used wordpress in my life before. I figured it's about time to break myself in and join the rest of the world. Something that has been driving me absolutely crazy is not being able to customize the Home page.

I'd like to make the "Home" page not go straight into a blog. Actually, I'd like to take out the whole "Home" page or I'd like to be able to customize it completely. Because I don't want my landing page to be a blog.

I've been googling for days. I found the codex website. Tried to do what they suggested, maybe I'm retarded but I'm not going anywhere by myself.
HELP!?

It's not too hard. What you need to do is first create the page you want to be your home page. Then go to Settings > Reading.

Choose the radio button to have your front page show as a static page and then select the page you want in the drop down below. Then select the page you want to be your main posts page (your blog home page). Generally you want to create a blank page with the name Blog and select that page to be the main posts page.

Assuming your theme has been coded to show your pages in the main navigation you'll be all set. Otherwise you may have to tinker a bit with the theme to show the pages you want in the navigation.

Wow, it was the theme I was using. That makes me feel pretty lame. OK, well off to create my own theme. Thank you lots for your last 2 sentences!

Glad to help. Good luck with the theme. Definitely read through the codex for that. And you should find plenty if you search for tutorials.