I'll tackle the first part for you.
Quote:
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In latest trends released by CrackIIT.com, a leading engineering web community, memberships have gone up more than 40% in the last quarter of 2006 alone.
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I'd hit delete the second I saw "a leading engineering web community." Perhaps I'm harsh, but leading according to who? You need to qualify those claims and quick. Inserting fluff marketing speech will only serve to get your PR quickly deleted by those in the media.
- Say "increased" not "gone up."
- Remove the word "alone" at the end of the sentence.
- Say "over" instead of "more than"
- say "40 percent" not "40%"
Quote:
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"We expected more students to participate during this period.." says Chinar Joshi, the Marketing Executive of CrackIIT.com.
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This is not proper AP style. It's easy enough to fix and here's how you do it:
"blah blah blah," source said. OR "blah blah blah," said the source.
Quote:
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surprising", ending with a broad grin.
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Again, not AP style. The comma goes inside the quote. Also, you should stick to using SAID as when you attribute. The ending with a broad grin thing is silly sounding and won't play to real members of the media.
- Another Note
When you are using a direct quote that's longer than one sentence, the attribution goes at the end of the second sentence.
Here's a sample:
"I'll talk to him tomorrow," said Joe Smith. "Perhaps we can get him to liven up the advertising a bit."
Finally, stick to your conventions. After introducing a person, use the last name in all other references and just the last name--not Mr. last name, Rev. last name and so on. In your PR, you have one instance where you use Mr. last name and then just the last name.
Oh, one more point. Direct quotes--in a perfect world--are for items that are very important, unordinary and so on. Your PR is one big quote-fest. Most of that should be indirect quotes or simply information.
There are other issues, but that should give you a start.
Good luck.
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