That sounds like more of a Paypal problem than anything specific to third party processors, don't be so quick to condemn everyone! 
Where Paypal tends to be more focused on protecting the consumer, other processors protect the merchant. For example when a dispute happens through Paypal, they put the burden of proving it was legitimate on you. When a dispute happens through EC Suite, the burden falls on the person making the claim.
With the way our fraud scrubbing system works this hardly ever happens though, fraudulent transactions are stopped before they even take place. On the rare occasion one does get through it's easily identified and a refund can be issued before a chargeback happens. All of our clients maintain an average refund/chargeback rate under 0.5%.
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What type of product/service were you selling through Paypal by the way?
If you're still set on using a Merchant account keep in mind they can be even a bigger hassle than dealing with Paypal. Even when you use a gateway add-on service. Here's a good article on The PCI Data Security Standard and some of what's involved in staying compliant with an online merchant account.
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