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What are some of the most humiliating moments in your life?
When I was 9 (in 1981), I was at the gricery store with my grandmother. Let's just say she was a "TOUGH" woman. I decided (for the first and last time) to shoplift a package of "Rollos" (chocolate covered carmels, stacked in a long cylindrical package). I decided to "stuff" them in the front of my shorts (which looked "very odd" to say the least for a 9 year old boy). I proceeded outside to the car behind my grandmother (It was 95+ degrees in the middle of August).
Like chocolate does in extreme heat, they began to melt, then ooze through the foil package staining...well...everything. My shorts, down my leg, on the car seat. My grandmother quickly noticed and said allowed in a lot full of strangers (remeber, she was tough)...#@!, why didn't you say you had to use the bathroom...or just hold it (while lifting me out of the car for all to witness). In a panic I made a crucial mistake. I didn't want anyone to think at 9 years old I #@! my pants. So I yelled out, "It's chocolate...candy". I would have been better off with the first humiliation alone...now came the second.
My grandmother dragged me (melted chocolate and all) into the store, made me reach into the front of my shorts, remove the oozing foiled mass and present it to the "cute" checkout girl who held out here hand (again I was nine), and say "I'm sorry". Of course she looked at me horrified (not as sorry as I am!) I'm sure she was thinking, with here hand now full of this nastyness. "He stole it", my grandmother snapped. Then she paid the clerk the 30 cents...the rest was a blurr. My parents punishment was even forgotten. To this day I cannot even glance at "Rollos" without feeling smaller then a thumbnail.
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