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As I was sit here pondering my new years resolutions for 2008, over a bloody mary, at 10:00 in the morning, a friend of mine sent me a few things to think about.
10 - Life is sexually transmitted
9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and [keeping this for general audiences] make him a sandwich.
7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they wont bother you for weeks.
6 - Some people are like a Slinky. Not really good for anything, but you still cant help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.
2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make it normal.
and the Number 1 thought for 2008
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-Cow disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Perhaps we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.
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