General Discussions

**cbwm** · 01-08-2008, 11:05 AM

My wife (financial planner by trade) has been hounding me to write a will, now that I have kids. Its gotten me to thinking, a well thought out Will would leave instructions for the handling of your remains. The whole things seems rather morbid, so I began wondering how many other people shop at funeral homes and cemeterys, picking out their final resting place, and what would the average age be? Is there an inappropriate age? I mean, if you are 18, and shopping for caskets, someone would likely call the cops.

**KML9870** · 01-08-2008, 01:32 PM

I drafted my first will when I was 20, the year my first child was born. I didn't have any material possessions, it only consisted of who I wanted to have custody of him. As the years have passed (DarkLink is now 17) I have revised my will 2 or 3 times. Life events like having another child, getting married and the death of the original guardian to be, have necessitated changes. I started thinking about a burial plot and casket in 2000 (I was 30) when my adopted mom died in a head on car accident. They didn't have burial plots and I went through the process with my dad and siblings of getting the plots and ordering the headstone.

So far, 7 years later, I haven't come to grips with my own mortality enough to actually purchase a plot or even truly decide on a stone. The only decision I've made is that I want to be cremated - and I don't want my ashes in an urn on somebody's fireplace mantle.

**BlackPheonix** · 01-08-2008, 01:37 PM

Ok, I will not take your ashes home, I will spread them over the ocean so you have a free spirit. Me, I decided that I will donate my possesions to an orginisation that needs them, and that I be buried next to my father. However much we annoy each other, I still look up to him alot.

**cbwm** · 01-08-2008, 02:14 PM

Wow Kandi, that seems so young. I'm 38 and have yet to draft my first Will. I suppose having someone close to you die would put you on that track. I don't know why I have a hang up about it, we all die one day. I guess the act of drafting a will, making post death decisions etc is an active acknowledgement of it and makes it all a bit overly real.

As a single guy, I used to amuse myself with the idea of(funds permitting) a burial at sea, literally. All the funeral attendees would have to suit up in drysuits and diving helmets. The gravediggers would literally dig a grave on the ocean floor and lower my casket into it. I was also thinking about pumping music into the com system, maybe Iron Maiden (War Pigs ).

Lenin did a pretty good job.

**KML9870** · 01-08-2008, 10:08 PM

I'm pretty close to your age, I'll be 38 in September. I think the biggest differences are

1) The age that we had kids. DarkLink was born a few months before I turned 20 and I didn't want the state to decide who would be responsible for his upbringing.

2) Having my adopted mom die when she was just 43. Not only was I extremely close to her, it was a sudden death and she was very young. Biologically she is my aunt and she mostly raised me, then when I was a teenager she and her husband took full time custody of me. My adopted siblings are considerably younger than I am, the next closest in age is 29. When she died my Dad was completely devasted and depended a lot on us and two of my aunts & uncles to help him through the arrangements. The funeral director was quite intimidated when a party of 14 people showed up!

At this point I think I want to be buried, but cremated first. I haven't made any concrete (haha) commitments except where custody of the kids is concerned.

Iron Maiden would be a good choice...same generation - probably other musical likes in common too