I am currently reporting from a rotting cabin on a 1992 ibm laptop
-- that is miraculously receiving power from batteries made from Alaskan coconuts
somehow picking up a satellite wireless signal from space.
-- There was a See and Say and an old umbrella in the cabin, and I watched E.T. and MacGyver enough times that I am now an expert in obscure inventions. A banana republic modem was a snap.
I’m located in Tuktoyaktuk, Northwest Territories in Canada. I’m here trying to contact anyone I can to tell them my survival story that I’ve gone through.
--Five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour. A three hour tour.
I’m a 23 year old male that has been surviving off of wild berries and bark for my whole life, (I weigh only 80 pounds, tattered skin, and aging at rapid rates), on the odd occasion capturing seals and drinking their blood for nourishment.
-- I had only episodes of Gilligan's Island and South Park for entertainment, when I found a TV left from a polar bear's recent meal. Arctic coconut batteries worked well on it, too.
I was born in the Beaufort Sea off the coast of Tuktoyaktuk and raised by penguins and seals. I was raised speaking penguin tongue and eventually I taught myself english once I started living amongst humans.
-- The Arctic penguins also taught me how to make coconut batteries, use a computer and a TV, fly and waddle suggestively.
I’ve been told that at the age of 10 I was attacked by my seal and penguin family later being found on a glacier missing both my legs.
-- Those (*&%)*(&^!! penguins ratted me out for drinking seal blood! Never, EVER trust a flying Arctic penguin.
The repro-cussions of them finding out I ate there own kind in a raging black out experience
-- Beware angry unconscious people.
due to starvation my whole life. I somehow have managed to use branches from tree’s for legs. Im wondering if anyone could somehow help me?
-- I'd like to, but I'm stumped as to how I can.
Has anyone experienced the same thing?
-- Not sober, no.
tim 
