General Discussions

**TeewhY** · 08-26-2008, 02:41 AM

hi i never seen jokes thread in here not like
in other forums so lets make some and have
some fun..
NOTE: remember this are only jokes.
you should not take it so seriously
ill start:

So yesterday I was traveling down the interstate to visit family and I needed to use the restroom really bad, so I stopped at a rest area. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying “‘Hi, how are you?”

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don’t know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doin’ just fine!” So the other guy says “So what are you up to?”

What kind of question is that? By this point, I’m thinking it’s pretty bizarre that a stranger expects to conversate while taking a dump so I reply “Uhhh I’m probably like you, just traveling?” At this point I’m wanting to get the hell outta there as fast as I can when dude asks another question… “‘Can I come over?”

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. Like, WTF! But I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
“Nah man, I’m a little busy right now!”

Right then, dead silence… then I hear the person say (kinda nervously) “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.”

**TeewhY** · 08-27-2008, 03:11 AM

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home.

She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already.
The little Boy says: "Dark in here."
The Man says: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!"
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "£250-00."

A few weeks later it happened again and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have soccer boots."
The Man, remembering the last time, asks the boy: "How much?"
The Boy says:"£750-00."
The Man says: "Fine, I will buy them."
few days later, the Father says to the boy:
"Grab your ball and boots, let's go outside and have a game."
The Boy says: "I can't, I sold them for £1000."
The Father says:
"That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...
£1000 is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your sins."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession
booth and he closes the door.

The Boy says: "Dark in here."
The Priest says: "Don't start that sh!t again!"

**bakerc** · 06:47 PM

Two hot cross buns get put in an oven.

1st bun says to the 2nd bun, come on, lets excape, I know a way out. Were gonna burn alive in here if we dont make a move.
2nd bun...F**** me a talking bun.

-------------------------------------------
It was about 8pm the other night and I put my coat on, I said to the wife.

"put your coat on love, I'm going out"

Wife: "are you taking me with you?"

Me: "no I'm turning the heating off.!"

**juliensimon** · 08-27-2008, 07:28 PM

One day, a Kangaroo walks in a bar (the best jokes always start with Kangaroo walking in a bar). The bartender is shocked to see a kangaroo in his bar. I mean, how often does it happen? The Kangaroo walk to the counter and says:
- one beer please?
The bartender can't believe. The Kangaroo can talk! still shocked, he gives him a beer and says: $20.
The kangaroo searches his pouch and gives him $20.

The bartender is amazed. The kangaroo has money, and he can count and everything...

The kangaroo finally tells the bartender:
- What's wrong? You look surprised.
The barman:
- Well, I have managed that bar for 14 years and it's the first time i see a kangaroo walking in and asking for a beer
The Kangaroo:
-with a beer for $20? no kidding!