General Discussions

**arepan27** · 01-26-2009, 04:08 AM

Do you believe that the best medicine in healing a broken heart is through moving on..

**qwerty123** · 01-26-2009, 05:07 AM

I would have to say yes, but in some circumstances it may take more time than usual. But no matter how much you loved them you will always move on eventually.

**PHP_Adam** · 01-26-2009, 05:36 AM

I don't believe in broken hart, just the fear of change and worry of having to go dating again.
So Yes.

**Arised** · 01-26-2009, 01:30 PM

time is best medicine!

**witnesstheday** · 01-26-2009, 01:39 PM

Reinforcement of negativity, restraint and settling for "your lot" is part of the fool's approach to life. What you all need is a bit of advice from a good old cowboy...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2k1uOqRb0HU

So get over it (by which I mean get over the idea that you can control love, or that saying "I have failed" is any way to conduct yourself in the realm of passion and the soul).

You can do anything and be anything, and if you stop understanding that, what does it matter who you are and what you do? It'll never be what you wanted.

What I lost last week, I regained yesterday, plan to give away tomorrow and will take back a week later. What I never had I'll always plan to find. Where I've never been, I'll never stop trying to reach, when the day comes that I no longer strive after something beyond my reach - my friends, at my request, will bury me, for I shall be dead, and only then will I stop saying "carpe diem".

You who make excuses for why you fail never know what it's like to list the reasons for why you succeded. I honestly know what it's like, and that's why I'll never lose ANYONE I truly love. Nobody has to. You can be anything. Why stop at the random person you already are? Become the amazing person you've spent so many years thinking about.

**Giselle** · 01-26-2009, 05:14 PM

Yes I do feel moving on is the best medicine, but that's an easy one to say, there are still emotions, feelings and the whys that still need to be understood what has happened. Analyzing the situation from all points can greatly help, then the moving on can become a lot easier.

**Aadriyah** · 01-26-2009, 06:36 PM

For me it's letting go, same meaning but different in one way or another.

**jabo** · 01-27-2009, 01:35 AM

I think that the best thing to do is to just accept all the things that have happened and keep those memories with us, we don't leave them behind when and if we choose to move on, we keep them as part of our lives and learn from them, so if ever in the future we would see that one person who gave such pain to our hearts, we would not see them as a person who did hurt us but as someone who has been a part of our lives and because of that person, you became the person that you are now.. a better one... along with death, pain is inevitable in our lives, but it doesn't mean that it is an ending, sometimes things to have to end for something better to start again... heal your heart with love but not by escaping the pain... love yourself again

**jv17** · 01-27-2009, 11:06 AM

nope i dont, it's all in your mind

**witnesstheday** · 01-27-2009, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jv17

nope i dont, it's all in your mind

I like this so much because although it is clear jv17 just read the title of the thread, not the content, and replied to it with a random "clever dick answer", the funny thing is that he/she/it has completely and utterly hit the nail perfectly on the head, and it's easy to see why, because of the title itself "do you believe?".

Failure, negativity, despair, running away, quitting, saying die - these things are all demons which plague your mind, they are JUST IN YOUR MIND, you can just go right ahead and be a success anyway.

It seems likely jv didn't read it because the ordinary knee-jerk response to the OPPOSITE question is what jv said.

Anyway, that's life. The idiot leads the way.

**Giselle** · 01-27-2009, 05:06 PM

You are absolutely right Alex, that is the key, "Do You Believe." Jerome picked up on the title, Arepan27 didn't say they had a broken heart. That's a good one!

**wayfarer07** · 01-27-2009, 05:52 PM

The best medicine is hanging out late, forgetting what you did last night, and saying "what is your name again?" to the person you wake up next to...

**witnesstheday** · 01-27-2009, 05:56 PM

Or you can even remember it and remember her name and start a whole new romance. There are no rules.

**juliensimon** · 01-27-2009, 06:32 PM

let me die alone

**Aadriyah** · 01-27-2009, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juliensimon

let me die alone

lol Julien, you can't move on?

**Cheshire_cat** · 01-27-2009, 07:52 PM

the best medicine is meeting someone else

**jamestl2** · 01-27-2009, 08:43 PM

It is impossible to just "move on" the human mind and heart just aren't wired to work that way.

What you have to do is put your self in an egotistical / careless (towards her) state of mind.

You already realize the torture you've putting yourself through? You know that this one of the worst feelings you've *ever* had, right? Don't you want all the memories to go away forever? Or wish you could go into the past and stop yourself from ever meeting her?

If you find something else to do to occupy your thoughts such as a job or hobby or whatever, and just make your primary goal to COMPLETELY forget about her, don't you think you'd be MUCH better off?

Also give yourself some mental exercises to help out on how far you can progress (Like for example keep telling yourself something like "Screw Her", or "She just used me for her own personal gains" over and over in your head until you almost believe it's true, even if the truth is the exact opposite.)

These deep wounds won't heal automatically, and the scars will likely never go away, but at least the exercises will be able to numb the horridly painful experience a bit.

**Giselle** · 01-27-2009, 10:38 PM

Falling in love has got to be one of the most wonderful feeling, what a rush, even though it could end with a broken heart. What brings to mind is the movie "The Mirror has Two Faces" with Barbra Streisand, she is a professor describing the feeling of falling in love to the students. So in essence you mend the broken heart and do move on...

**witnesstheday** · 01-28-2009, 01:09 AM

Julien I may die alone, I may live most of my life alone, but I'll spend the bulk of it in love anyway, madly in love, and whether I get love or not, I'll still be immersed in feelings that, as well as making me a bit messed up, keep me happy.

Quote:

Or you can even remember it and remember her name and start a whole new romance. There are no rules.

I didn't mean that you replace the one you (think) you've lost - just that you remind yourself how easy it is to get someone to love you - then you can reapply yourself to the original task!

Besides, if you're male you can't imagine the new woman can't see through you and work out what's going on in your heart.

Anyway. Throwing in the towel, or seeing "lost love" as YOUR PROBLEM (it's NOT - you owe it to the girl or guy who is estranged from you to not let them lose the precious and wonderful love {from you} which BELONGS TO THEM) is wrong, and selfish. And moreover, if you can't face the tough challenge even once, then it doesn't matter if you "move on", because you'll only ever "move on" to something NOT tough - so you'll NEVER actually get round to making the love (exist) that you really want. Even "the next time" or the one after. It's do or die. It always is. It's face the pain, or get no gain.

So you have to just face it. If it's really really really really really painful - you know you're on the right track. The harder it is, the more she (or he) has hurt you by not caring any more, the more you know you really love her (or him).

Don't wait around for anyone or anything, but don't let the world, or unrelated people, or even the pride of the one you love stop you from spending every waking moment of your life trying to win his/her heart back and for good.

I'm just repeating myself. But hey - love, whether it's the times that go wrong, or the times that go right, is all just a question of repeating yourself. If in doubt, read stanislavski and LEARN HOW TO ACT!!

Rehearse your lines (but make sure they are good ones). Never stop believing that the one you love is the centre of the universe, and one day the clouds will clear.

Enjoy your pain. It will last a long time. The more you need to ask others what to do, the longer it will take to realise that it's YOU in love with her/him, not these others whose only advice will be to not bother!

**witnesstheday** · 01-28-2009, 01:24 AM

Quote:

(Like for example keep telling yourself something like "Screw Her", or "She just used me for her own personal gains" over and over in your head until you almost believe it's true, even if the truth is the exact opposite

No. No matter what happens, no matter how hard it is, you can't stop being a gentleman, both in action AND thought, and in feeling too. Just know that being a gentleman will lead to a good happily ever after ending for you one day. Honestly. If a girl thinks you are a gentleman, really and truly, she'll always trust you. Even if she's got someone else and has to reject you in the short term, history has taught me that she'll open the door to you again another time, if you know when to knock.

Seriously. Even if she's in the wrong, don't blame her because that's callous - it's not right for a man to do that. It's FINE for a woman to blame you unfairly, and I'm not being sarcastic either - this is the absolute chivalrous truth. You take the blame, if you're a man. That's what you were born for. That and loving her as much as SHE needs (it's NOT about what you need, so who cares how much pain you go through... you have no right to complain, given what she does for you, how she completes you, and makes the bad in you good).

Enough already. I'm off to another part of the hood to go and do some hard labour on a building site. I may post a little less than usual for a few weeks!