General Discussions

**levinthomas** · 07-13-2009, 12:59 PM

Its the fourth year of our marriage and when ever my wife and i sit continuously for 2 hrs. She always complaints about not taking her for vacations, not getting her this and that..

Is it the same for all husbands or am i the only one who has to face this??

**evan1993** · 07-13-2009, 01:12 PM

believe me....you ain't the only one! LoL Women tend to do that because not only is a show of your appreciation for them, but also a show of love, a show of "i'm thinking of you", you'd be surprised how happy you'd make her by just bringing her a card and a single rose home every day, or at least every few days. What's the saying, "It's not the gift itself, its the thought...."

**tripy** · 07-13-2009, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Is it the same for all husbands or am i the only one who has to face this??

You definitively are not alone !
:-)

**Brian07002** · 07-13-2009, 02:51 PM

Guess all of you are alone on this one...

Then again, I guess that's why I am single.

Have to admit, it's does get lonesome sometimes, but as an adult, I am loving it!

**Giselle** · 07-13-2009, 04:08 PM

It's the other way around in our house!

Seeing as I handle the finances, not by choice, my husband seems to have a long list of things he needs and wants. But have to admit they are legitimate needs and wants, such as new metric mechanic tool, his Stetson Cologne is running low, etc. I just buy it, as for me I just replaced my electric Wok pan which I wore out, I seen the price and was very hesitant, my husband said just buy it already.

James has given some real good advice, well at least it works on me. Sometimes it's bouquet of flowers, maybe a single rose, sometimes it's a small stuffed animal and it really is the thought and appreciation that goes behind the gift!

**hairygunther** · 07-13-2009, 04:17 PM

buy her the stuff.

**Giselle** · 07-13-2009, 06:34 PM

^ What if the wife wants a very expensive house or car, and the husband is unemployed, then what? Guess he could always start robbing banks??

**emofree** · 07-13-2009, 10:48 PM

I think every husband and wives always ended up quarreling over something and I hope that for every quarrel there's an equal solution. and that solution is obey your wife at all cost lol. no ifs no buts. ouch ...

**hairygunther** · 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Giselle

^ What if the wife wants a very expensive house or car, and the husband is unemployed, then what? Guess he could always start robbing banks??

These days banks aren't the guys to rob - they're all going down. I think techies are the best people to rob! The word on the street is that we are getting all the money. And we should know, since we're the ones putting the word on the street!

However crime is not the answer - she will lose her husband quickly that way when he is jailed, and then she won't even get the stuff she's already getting.

I find there are 2 answers here - the main one is "do not be materialistic" - which means that she shouldn't be looking for more than a loving partnership and lasting loyalty. However, since both partners in a relationship ought to be incredibly forgiving and see the other as their closest ally (assuming it's not 90% of marriages, created for convenience and according to peer-pressure induced social norms and rules) if one (regardless of gender) is a bit too materialistic at any given time, the other would be best advised to be even less materialistic to make up for it.

Thus... buy her the stuff.

How many women did I lose because I never could afford anything?

Well - I stopped making that mistake. I've recently let entire successful business projects go down the tube [not permanently, obviously] rather than delay a date which I initially delayed 3 times PURELY because I didn't have enough cash.

The other night I had to go out to something I really knew I'd enjoy, with someone I really like, and yet I was at home beforehand fuming privately wondering "why they always cause you to blow so much money" - and then I realised what a total git I was, and decided to stop thinking such stupid negative thoughts (I was going anyway, and that was not being disputed by me).

When I went along, I had such a good time and I knew then that the mere £10 I had wanted to cling onto was by no means a better thing to have than that evening out.

Marriage is a bit of a joke, though - invented in less evolved times, when religions still controlled most people's ideals. Today apart from a lot of the USA and much of Afghanistan/Pakistan and indeed probably a large chunk of Israel, there are relatively few religious-ideal driven people in the world. Marriage is seriously on the way out - it is a massive contradiction now with absurd things like "pre-nuptial agreements" existing... the purpose of partnership has apparently shifted back away from the stupid feudal rules of religion-driven partnership. Rather than coming up with more and more extras, safeguards and appendixes with marriages, truly enlightened people just won't get married. As hugh grant and the woman who advertises mice-baking cream companies said in that film... it's about promising to not marry someone. Me, I think I know whom I'm going to not marry, and I reckon she's definitely going to be happy to not marry me.

**haruhichan** · 07-15-2009, 04:21 AM

Some women are just grabbing their husband or lovers attention but it's not really necessary to buy them things. Take them out on a simple dinner would be a good start, simple things are sometimes the best. You can distinguish gold diggers if they want something "more" expensive..

**hairygunther** · 07-15-2009, 09:50 AM

People take it all too seriously. Go to the park. Have a walk in it. See what is meant by the expression "a walk in the park" - and figure out how easy it is to enjoy life.

**adriana_1987** · 07-15-2009, 01:40 PM

hii...i know its the same old story but when did you last take her for the holiday???When did you give her a present???so we as a husband have some responsibilities apart from work....we should care for them...

**hairygunther** · 01:53 PM

when did it become the rule that men have to buy presents and drinks and so on? how come she can't buy the present for him? eh?

honestly, some of the things i'm reading are frighteningly similar to... oh well, best not to antagonize.

husbands should go to work, wives should clean the kitchen... i'm just saying - i've seen that stuff on certain religious fundamentalist sites and i am shocked that in truth the attitude is still dominant on our planet

you at the top. tell your woman: "oi, woman - why don't you get ME something - i want a new corvette, and i can't afford one - why don't you get one for me?"

why doesn't she become a world class lawyer making 100s of 1000s of dollars and buy you a corvette? i mean, she does have the option to try, right?

hmm. It's all very well to experiment with equality but I guess it's better to toe the line with things as vital as your sex life.

**hazzel** · 07-15-2009, 05:23 PM

You're wife just wanted to feel appreciated by giving her little things like a rose or a sweet note from you.

**Gog** · 07-15-2009, 06:30 PM

I agree she just wants to feel appreciated and special, we sometimes take our partners for granted once we are married, but that goes both ways.

**victoriaphee** · 07-16-2009, 10:12 PM

both husbands and wives sometimes need constant reminder of what they are taking for granted for them not to make the relationship better

**weblover50** · 07-17-2009, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by victoriaphee

both husbands and wives sometimes need constant reminder of what they are taking for granted for them not to make the relationship better

I agree with you

**KML9870** · 07-18-2009, 10:51 PM

It is on both partners, but it doesn't have to be materialistic. I frequently send my hubby text messages that say "I'm thinking of you" or "I love you" when we aren't together. I tell him everyday that I love him. On occasion I will write little notes and put them in the pockets of his clean clothes or in little places he will find over time. He sends me text messages too. We go out of our way to spend time with each other and we both appreciate the effort the other puts into spending time together.

I work full time, run a part time business, do probably 75% of the house work and 60% of the cooking. He runs his own business and does about 10% of the house work and 10% of the cooking. Our daughter does the remainder of the house work and cooking.

We have been together for almost 20 years and are happier in our marriage now than when we first said our vows. That's not to say we didn't love each other then, but that we appreciate much more what we have and the triumphs and trials that we have gone through together.

**Aadriyah** · 07-19-2009, 07:43 PM

Wives sometimes, needs more time and affection...Try to show her your love. It's not corny. It is how it is supposed to be done

^ I hope I can have the kind of love that Kandi has

**emofree** · 07-19-2009, 08:35 PM

and remember the words that you both have said in your marriage traditional vow or oath

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."