Computer Terminology
ANALOG: Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed nuts.
BACKUP: Opposite of go forward
BATCH PROCESSING: Making a lot of cookies at once
BINARY: Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes
BIT: 12-1/2 cents
BRANCH: If watered, it will grow into a computer club (see computer club)
BUFFER: Programmer who works in the nude
BUG: 1. Programmer's term for a feature. 2. An elusive creature living in a program which makes it incorrect. Note: The activity of "debugging" or removing bugs from a program ends when a programmer gets tired of doing it, not when all the bugs are removed
CHARACTER DENSITY: The number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space
COMPUTER: A device designed to speed and automate errors
COMPUTER CLUB: Used to strike computer forcefully upon receiving error messages
CODING: An addictive drug
COMPILE: A heap of decomposing vegetable matter
COMPILER: Noah Webster (1758-1843)
CONSOLE: What one does to a "down" computer
CURSOR: An expert in 4-letter words
DUMP: A system programmer's work area
FEATURE: Hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative
HARDWARE: The parts of a computer which can be kicked
KEYBOARD: An instrument used for entering errors into a system
LANGUAGE: A system of organizing and defining error messages
LOOP: See loop
MACHINE-INDEPENDENT PROGRAM: A program which will not run on any machine
MICROCOMPUTER: One millionth of a computer
NULL STRING: The result of a 4-hour database search
ONLINE: The idea that a human should always be accessible
PASSWORD: The nonsense word taped to your terminal
