Quote:
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Originally Posted by pixelputty
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OK, pixieface, have given this some serious consideration....hold tight now!
"What sort of life will you be living 39 years from now?
Scientists have looked into the future and they can tell you"
....I should add, I am currently sueing 27 and a half scientists.
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It looks as if everything will be so easy that people will probably die from sheer boredom.
...erm, okaaaaaaaaay, lets work this one through...
1.
whisked around in monorail vehicles at 200 miles an hour
1b. Does that come serviced with chauffer?...and breakfast?,
(preferably continental and large on both counts?)
2.
house will probably have air walls, floating roof, adjustable to the angle of the sun.
2b. Currently my house has only half a roof, due to 2005 building tradesmen. It neither floats, not angels, although, if I squint slightly Im sure I can make out Gods face in the clouds. (no, I do not smoke substances)
3.
Doors will open automatically
3b. Thats simply being blonde, female and cute.
4.
Clothing will be put away by remote control
4b. Thats simply being blonde, female and a mother.
5.
The heating and cooling systems will be built into the furniture and rugs.
5b. Could we add a thermostat to "heat pads" too?...3rd degree burns at Xmas. (true)
6.
an electronics centre, where messages will be recorded when you're away from home. This will play back when you return, and also give you up-to-the minute world news, and transcribe your latest mail.
6b. I have this installed. Its called
my. Mother V.3378. I am 32, own house, car, horse and children etc, yet she knows who, when and what about, people have called me. Even when I dont. (But I have already stated I am blonde)
7.
You'll have wall-to-wall global TV
7b. I am still struggling with the "preview box"my kids got for xmas.
8.
an indoor swimming pool
8b. When you "own" a six year old, its called "the bath".
9.
Press a button and you can change the décor of a room.
9b. This is TRUE! Buy any bespoke pre-mix paint from B&Q (or equiv DIY) let small child shake it vigerously, (unbeknown to parent of course) and at the press of the little button on the lid which states "please aim AWAY from face", you CAN actually redecorate a room.
...Trust me on this one.
10.
The status symbol of the year 2000 will be the home computer help, which will help mother tend the children, cook the meals and issue reminders of appointments.
10b. ....*tap tap*...A'hm a waitin....
11.
Cooking will be in solar ovens with microwave controls. Garbage will be refrigerated, and pressed into fertiliser pellets.
11b. Not even the year 2000 could have acheived this in my household.
Cooking?...Solar Ovens?... Refrigerated Garbage?...thats called "leftovers", "Solo oven" ('cause Im the only begger who goes near it) and The Dog ( No need to refrigerate)
12.
Food won't be very different from 1961, but there will be a few new dishes - instant bread, sugar made from sawdust, foodless foods (minus nutritional properties), juice powders and synthetic tea and cocoa. Energy will come in tablet form.
12b. Instant Bread = "Pop Tarts"
....... Sawdust Sugar = "Canderell" or "Splenda"
....... Foodless Foods = "MacDonalds", "Burger King", "KFC", "Co-Op Home Range"....
....... Juice Powders = "Cremola Foam" or "Senecot" depending upon whether you actually like the recipient....
13.
Energy will come in tablet form
13b. Yip, the *legal* term is "ProPlus", "RedBull" or "Venlafaxine"
14.
At work, Dad will operate on a 24 hour week. The office will be air-conditioned with stimulating scents and extra oxygen - to give a physical and psychological lift.
14b. Well, now thats fine and dandy-o for Dad now isnt it?...I have a far more traditional method of giving a physical lift, and psychological shift. One is called "foot up the proverbial", the other "The CSA".
15.
Mail and newspapers will be reproduced instantly anywhere in the world by facsimile.
15b. I liked fax. You could print your bottom on the bottom of one.
16.
There will be machines doing the work of clerks, shorthand writers and translators. Machines will "talk" to each other
16b. We had this in 1998 actually, it was called "YTS" in the UK, and in latter days, became known as the phenomina of "Burger King Drive Thru Voices".
17.
Rocket belts will increase a man's stride to 30 feet
17b. Just watch an unco-ordinated person trying to get off an escalator or moving airport walkway....this is real. Trust me.
18.
bus-type helicopters will travel along crowded air skyways. There will be moving plastic-covered pavements, individual hoppicopters, and 200 m.p.h. monorail trains operating in all large cities.
18b. Yip, Disneyworld expanded into Europe.
19.
Cars will be soundless, vibrationless and self-propelled thermostatically. The engine will be smaller than a typewriter and will travel overland on an 18 inch air cushion.
19b. Hahaha, ok, try driving a tractor, with no windows in -14degrees in Scotland. The only "self-propelled" thing in there, is my butt on the way out, (and the dogs) the engine is larger than the current Boeing 747, and the air cushion?...dont ask, the tractor has a metal seat...
20.
Railways will have one central dispatcher, who will control a whole nation's traffic. Jet trains will be guided by electronic brains
20b. I thought that was called Tony Blair?...ooops, sorry, he came AFTER privitisation, he oly capitalise upon it...
21.
In commercial transportation, there will be travel at 1000 m.p.h. at a penny a mile. Hypersonic passenger planes, using solid fuels, will reach any part of the world in an hour.
21b.
OI! Branson, your turn...
22.
By the year 2020, five per cent of the world's population will have emigrated into space. Many will have visited the moon and beyond.
22b. Hmm, I have to doubt this one, after all, Scottish statistics state that after the Tory government, and then of course the hapless labour ruling, we now have over 20% of our population living on the poverty line. How long do you think it might take to get :
....... a) council housing on Pluto?
....... b) income support for those who decide NOT to work for a living.
....... c) Disabled Car Parking space in Tescos, for the able bodied to ABUSE?
....... d) I am of course, house owner, single working mother, and able bodied....(but whats a wee rant between friends?)
23.
Our children will learn from TV, recorders and teaching machines. They will get pills to make them learn faster. We shall be healthier, too. There will be no common colds, cancer, tooth decay or mental illness.
23b. Ooooh, this is a GUUUD one!...
....... a) Kids learn more from tv than parents. Official Heath Board Stats. Sad but true.
....... b) Recorders and Teaching Machines. Thats called a "no-feepaying-school-teacher"
....... c) Pills to make them learn faster?...I believe government calls that "Ritinol". I'd try fish oil myself....
....... d) Cancer?... tooth decay?...mental illness?...Since I have two outta three, I wont comment. And no, I DO brush my teeth.
24.
Medically induced growth of amputated limbs will be possible.
24b. See "human ears grown on mice" (do a google, fascinating stuff)....not sure what the mice make of it...
Mouse 1 "Hey bud! how you doin'?...",
Mouse 2 "oh not so bad, except for this weird growth on my back",
Mouse 1 "Yeah, sure sticks out a bit...",
Mouse 2. "yip...my own fault, went in for chemo at the Prince Charles Memorial Hospital"....
...Personally, I LIKED Orwells 1984...A society that accepts it is "classist", "conditioned acceptance of lifes roles", from "Alpha to Epsilon"...(they didnt have a "blonde catagory" back then, Im safe...) A daily "soma" intake (drug) to calm the masses....now known as "Prozac"
Oh well!...
"out with anger, in with luuuurvvve"...
cheers, scotia
