|
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a
commercial saturation diver for
Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent to
a radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring
a worst job experience contest. Needless to say she won.
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at
the
bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time
of
year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have
a
diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to the
air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and
stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until
all
of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out of my back, but
the
damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since
I
don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However,
the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought
was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my
butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other
divers, was laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompressions stops totaling
thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface, I was wearing
nothing
but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears
of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub
it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire
out,
but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So,
next
time you are having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
would
be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
|
I love my job, I love my job, I love my job! 
