General Discussions

#1 (permalink)

Disclaimer: There's some crazy people making this story up. Not for the squimish!

Once upon a time there was a small chicken that decided to cross the road with an umbrella when suddenly a person said, "Zig!" Sadly, the chicken died a very slow death. Fortunately, his friends helped by eating him quickly to prevent the infestation of creepy crawly bugs. However, when the webmasters with fast acting inhalers noticed the poor little penguins. (?) Immediately, they rushed to their aid and took out their Correct English Guidebooks. They looked up and saw a huge scaley dragon flying above.

Bam!

StudentForums shot his pet dragon fatally in the head. The dragon dropped and landed on Oprah Winfrey, who was observing the scene while eating a big chocolate peanut butter cup. She then started to gag. There was a bad karma from Tim Schroeder who sat up in tree eating a drumstick from the last fried chicken from KFC when a fat pig stole the drumstick and took off until Tim shot the fat pig with a catapult filled with grapefruit and mashed potatoes which splattered all over the onlookers.

The splattered onlookers became enraged and went into a blood thirsty frenzy, then fell asleep while running with razor sharp scissors screaming, "Nun intow!" After sleeping for hours on their front garden lawns, the crowd forgot all about Tim and carried on walking down the lane towards Dave, then sat down to plan how to get a nice cold drink.

And the saga continues.

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#2 (permalink)

Meanwhile, a huge donkey ran by and trampled the fox with braces who died instantly. This made a vulture swoop down and bite its head off. Blood poured from the open neck and spilled all over a little baby weasel in its mother's mouth. Then the mother weasel began to lick the blood off until it was all gone. The little weasel quickly fell asleep. Suddenly an alien crashed into a nearby tree, killing a rare crow. The alien wobbled so rare, it was ignored. (Proper English?) Alien then wobbled around starting at the tree Tim was eating the crow and having a party with a bunch of ghosts wombat dressed in T-shirts with the Queen's face on. They were eating squashed peas and chips (French Fries). They were very yummy so they ate more. They ate so much that they blew up into millions of pieces.

The weasel then cried because it was out of ghosts to kill. He tried to find more ghosts but failed, so he killed a penguin which was was made from sand and orange juice with slices of expired carrot cake. These three items had been boiled which meant that they were sterile. So now that the little weasel was very sad, it started to get very angry so it jumped off a cliff. Unfortunately, the cliff was 0.1m high so did nothing. Now he was wishfully hoping for poison to fall from the trees so it could kill itself.

The saga continues.

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#3 (permalink)

A whimsical little piglet, which had an apple in its big fat mouth while dancing around, tripped on a small little rock and a banana and bashed its small little head hard against the wall with nails. The small little pig cried for hours until the big momma pig bit his head! Now that the little pig was bitten in the head, he felt very very hurt so he laughed a wicked laugh - because his head was bitten by his stupid-*** punk of an idiot mum. "Whiiieeee!" he cried.

Through the confustion, the little pig tried to sneak his Mother's Day gift before she found it in her hot soup. Oh no! She cried while fishing for her gift. From the swampy soup came a pair of wings! Now this pair of wings had some very expensive samonella poisoning. Suddenly the mother jumped up and ran into a large vat of onions and rabbit porridge which burned her through to the tender skin of her ***. This alerted another chicken. The other chicken then alerted his friend, which at this time they thought was going across the road.

The saga continues.

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#4 (permalink)

"Oh no!" cried a distressed chicken. The distressed chicken ran quickly across a busy road. Once across, the chicken decided to go eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken!!! He ordered popcorn-chicken and then realized he is allergic to chicken, so (he) decided on fries which were so salty that the chicken had to order more drinks that contained some coca-cola and ice. The drinks were so cold that the chicken then turned into an awfully cold birdie with icicles hanging off its beak! The poor chicken sat next to the lonesome moose (and) asked the chicken, "Care to engage in a game of hackey sack?" They then went to get a 12 pack of beer to get blotto'ed.

The unsteady moose fell onto a chicken's car that dented the door so that the crazy tiger could eat all of the onlookers standing around him. Once they had all started running away, the tiger returned and fell asleep. The onlookers were all falling asleep. So then the tiger started eating the tired onlookers! From nowhere the (the) moose and squirrel started running towards the tiger.

The saga continues.

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#5 (permalink)

"Nooo!" shouted the squirrel at Bulwinkle. There was a big ruckus off in the distance. Rocky takes off with Bulwinkle to Hollywood, in search of the cursed skull. But on their way was cut by storms and tornados with flying dragons sent there by Saddam Hussein who who was hiding in Bill Clinton's villa, from (on) the greenland isles, near the coastal region of Troy. So President Authoritah sent Kenny and Cartman to hunt Saddam while Kenny and cartman died somehow. Butters was developing a weird growth of butter toast that would obliterate cartman's cheese cake and donuts, too, make(ing) an amazing new microsoft windows CEMeNT Edition using pint of guiness.

Back in Hollywood, pigeons crapped everywhere on hollywood tourists. Then a nuke launched from Norad and flew through the air without killing Bill Clinton and George Bush. The nuke detonated but Bush survived. Unfortunately, this meant a new era, new beginnings starting World War 3.

And the saga continues.

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#6 (permalink)

Nuclear missiles were launching from everywhere with a surprise and lots of kinder egg toys. Harry Potter books are very magical and faulty. (After a brief interlude...) Rocky and Bullwinkle were sitting in a café when it was closed 24-hour cafe down getting very high.

"I see" said the bald pope and the girl with (a) BIG rack who went to the kitchen, to the bedroom, then the stairs. There she fell down, (the) rack fell off, (and) all the cds broke. The shards flew missing the girl and into the kid's face, and he cried and ran away to the special peaceful place of the arms in his dreams where he knew a mysterious mushroom whose name was George W. Bush who was picking his rhubarb.

"Who what why?" they asked Bob to be not so crazy and pull his face into the water gargling it fanatically. He decided to use his brain, which failed miserably since neglection of oxygen to it caused uncontrollable twitching which lead to an almost near uninvitable (sp?) head explosion. Luckily, (he) did not see it coming.

The saga continues....

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#7 (permalink)

So then the Carebears came along and brought love and fast cars. Then tony blair (? who the ?) said "Hello Mr Bush" for no reason. He started dancing and broke his tiny little arm into little pieces.

Then Bush laughed loudly and sarcastically, "I am the best president ever in the entirety of his condition." He was mentally destresed (sp), so he shot someone in the nether lands for jelly beans which were actually weapons of mass intelligence. These made your brain grow so big that hemoroids evolded into futurisiting metal shields that could withstand anything with (the) exception of rotting chicken guts and fried monkey brains. So, foul smelling causing their heads to form peanut shaped doughnuts that ooze slimy magenta liquid and shoot brown cds of doom.

Stephen Hawking came and started to talk about theories of dinosaurs living in space with cavemen wearing cowboy hats and mustaches, riding horses across the desert on Thorrrax Alpha, searching for flesh-eating microbes when they foundthe microbes' den. Which startled them. They tired (sp) to capture them, but they were eating Peanutbutter Jelly sandwiches.

The saga continues....

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#8 (permalink)

Suddenly, there was a giant turtle that killed Jon and had constipation and died. Now comes a zebra who makes you take something which you didn't want to. (A)nd then you drank water because you had to. You felt that the zebra which drinks to much came to you for help, but you can't help the sadden zebra because you are a nice guy who can only save yourself and a fireball is about to hit the earth and explode. The zebra started to scream , "Help me, Mom!" as the fireball consumed the earth. The fireball had ma(d)e people lose their very little mansions and cars. The people are also anxious about their loved ones.

The saga continues...

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#9 (permalink)

Meanwhile, Bullwinkle and a friendly horse made ceasar salads in the kitchen for the arriving of a new and very dangerous rocking chair, that has restraining straps. And is restraining thousands of mutant anti-nuclear power activists because they're weird.

Suddenly, a superhero fell from a building to get a birthsday cake for his mother. That was a (One with a woman inside naked) waste of time because Bilbo Baggins decided to cut his toenails. He wanted a piece of cheese but because his toenails had been cut loose seemd more like eating the only friend Bilbo ever had, so he decided to spare bullwinkle and not partake in moose tar-tar, which tastes like a piece of old shoe leather.

Meanwhile, a gun shoot scared the little guy, causing Bilbo to spontaneously create The One Ring complete with bananas, cheese and moose droppings. He said, "oh dear. Where have my little geraniums gone?! They must have been stolen by demonic monkeys while I went into orbit yesterday. The same thing happened to my son Frodo when he was piloting that rocket that he 'borrowed' from the government. During the recession there was a huge increase in moles, badgers and small blue fluffy things that keep insisting that I do certain 'things' involving hamsters."

Now the volcano suddenly materialised, and proceeded to blow its own trumpet! Someone shouted, "Hey! What's a trumpet doing up there? My grandmother moves faster in a jet propelled rickshaw." Since she was trying to escape from the hairy custard monster of Albania. Anyhow, what was really surprising was the volcanos that were continually erupting Cheeze Whiz mixed with red wine. Nobody thought Cheese Whiz would smell that terrible, however they discovered that when heated Cheese Whiz turns blue and stops little furry animals from entering elephant breeding grounds.

The saga continues...

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#10 (permalink)

I can't understand why it smells like it does, moreover, the big, fat cabbage smelling poop was all over the place, so the skiing conditions had reduced considerably to the point where I couldn't corner quickly enough and had infact got so bad that I had to eat some polka dot sunflowers that tasted totally like cheese. Except for the fact that they rotated my head rapidly into the ground, I came to, but my head had been reshaped and looked like a cubist painting.

The next morning, some elves came asking questions about a snow blower that i borrowed to bury weasels. I had already buried seventy, when Billy the Puma phoned to ask if she could kill my uncle with an enourmous toothbrush. So I defended myself by using my umbrella like a lightsaber. That's when she transformed into a gigantic raspberry jelly full of green bubbles. She melted instantly. Poor he-she had bad gas. So bad, it made her intestines inflate rather rapidly, so rapidly that nothing could stop it.

Next thing I know, Bananaman was crawling into a shark's mouth. The shark was a funny little chap named Tiny who was rather annoyed that Bananaman was crawling into a parallel universe all the while eathing a hotdog coated in white sticky fluid from some guy's huge limp salami factory located between two spherical oil tanks covered in curly gignger vines. Behind a veil of black mist, lurked nothing in particular, unless you had x-ray specs. Using a chair as a crash helmet, James Bond charged into the salami head first and even made it through to the thick outer skin. That smelt cheesy.

Meanwhile, on Neptune, some guy named Dougal was surfing on a giant cucumber, floating on huge waves of liquid nitrogen. Ice covered oranges were everywhere. Still he avoided them using his cat-like reflexes and ended up wiping out after a golden dolphin fell from the passing Boeing and knocked him unconscious, clipped his bumper, and totally wrecked his genuine picasso.

Surfboard bumpers are usually green and don't like dolphins, come in three's, and are useless unless they have big blue balls of spaghetti attached to their fins. "Holy crap" shouted Dougal.

"How did I ever manage a triple backflip without any legs and without killing the golden dolphins?" said Jimmy who was actually a three-legged leprechaun from a remote island inhabited by furry elephants.

Jimmy then decided he needed to calm down but without his pot of gold he couldnt. So off he went in search of the rainbow's end and his gold. Once found, he exclaimed, "This truely sucks. I have never seen such a disgusting pile of colours. I've lost my mind." Now lost.

The sage continues...

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#11 (permalink)

I stared unblinkingly into space to find colourful zebrafinches knocking at that beautiful girl. Didnt know what could be more crazy than this. My momma always bakes me cookies but never gives me any good advice regarding the global shortage of hairgel noticed in all global newspapers and TV. We really must find an alternative before the GI-Joes interfere with anything purple and round, like the precious guzzlemutts of procyon IV.

Katie Holmes's last wish before she entered the porta-potty was definitely not to stumble across the paper-disposing hamper of DOOM! Instead it was for a few seconds in the presence of the magnificent but otherwise uninteresting Snoop Doggy Dogg along with Masta or Scooby Doo. Kattie doesnt know where to get a T-Mobile Sidekick™ so she can look 'cool'.

Suddenly, her "uncool" phone rang as if it was the ringing thing from in the sky, and promptly flipped, which made the world turn to cold pineapple custard. The database then imploded and all the data escaped into the void. Although most of the databse was full of random data uncollected by drunk badgers, it dissapeared into the great unknown chasm of the blue monster, known as Big-Blue-Monster-known-as-Pink-Pather-wannabe because it smelled like apple and banana milkshake gone bad because of great big laundry piles.

Once upon a time, four words were disrupting the delicate and tender cloth of this crazy web we weave. The Webmaster-Talk members got lost in the fabric and decided to go reflect on more knitting techniques available. After their departure, several member's decided to hide from DaveMo~. And find refuge in an upturned giant pineapple can. Wondering why they left home after finding safe refuge.

The saga continues...

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#12 (permalink)

Intercontinental ballistic bananas exploded profusely above Canada in a balloon. Though they overly ripe, they didn't cause enough damage to the banana mobile. Dazed and confused, after the blast the engines caught on a monkey and swerved left. Fortunately, there were giant pillow monkeys standing ready with extra large pads with holes in it, looking at the unusually purple and terribly stinky intercontinental ballistic bananas.

"You copycat!", shouted Giant Donkey Kong after he jumped from the giant ipod of death. And then he discovered that gravity was still effective and fell to the dark corners of outer Mongolia. When he awoke he was flatuant to the point that his toenail turned yellow. Then his toenail turned pink with a slurping sound.

His girlfreind from the dark side smelled the rancid feta cheese. She ran away and set up camp at the local cheese factory. She wrote a Dear Santa letter and requested some chocolate and got cappuccino from Frazier Crane. She planned to collect several hamsters and go to the market the next moment she saw a giant carrot and decided to make carrot cake for the entire town. It was so heavy that it made a black hole appear near the big old skating arena tall apple tree with a swing and a tire. The apple tree was cut down, making space for a really big walmart super center.

The saga continues...

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#13 (permalink)

The Walmart Super rip-off market was blown up by parasitic evangelists. The parasitic evangelists annoyingly hadn't found buzzards from chowing central station debris at all. King David will rule over the games, but not the nude ones. However, the King did not like the condescending comments that fire from everywhere! While the news didn't like to criticise the administration or the staff, they did like to tell stories that make no sense at all.

Meanwhile, Bananaman continued exploring the parallel dimensions of the three stooges, which were making no sense. He could see comets falling down on his house. He ran to a dimension with flying pancakes and syrup dripping stars and strawberry clouds and lemon slice suns. Meanwhile the intercontinental ballistic bananaswere going totally ballistic over the blueberries made with soap and lima beans. There also was a naked girl who was actually calling more naked girls and in all these naked girls there was a guy advertising when suddenly an admin banned the low life Neonimage. Noenimage likes her and her and also her but was bigger that ultras head and more naked girls rejected ultra bigtime who is son of god. The other god thats not so good as the naked girls who ultra hates... Then suddenly out of no where batman comes with robin with naked girls but batman and robin were looking and winking at each other not at girls which mad_willsy found rather wierd as they wear tight suits and underwear over there trousers. They must be Superheros!

The saga continues...

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#14 (permalink)

Meanwhile a naked girl ran about in a fashon wear shop which being robbed by mad wilsy when suddenly the pant over trousers super hero called Superzer0 died.

Meanwhile the chicken was sitting on Mad_wilsy's head and he was enjoying warm in snowy season but suddenly it all went black as jesus came down in a large KFC mega bucket. And Jesus said, "Love, peace and Chicken Grease." Then he got really really fat says Dave Mo looking for plot-lines to sell as a new website about forum members and beautiful girls doing strange things like being naked and osama bin laden suddenly exploded as he was trying to explode, duh!

Meanwhile, pigs play banjos with the hippopotamus and llamas slay ultra for cheating. Everyone did that and now they are saying sorry but do not really want to. Eat the candy because it smelt like candy. The old woman called Patrica smells like trouble, we need the men in yellow spandex diapers they went to the local spring. The water was wet and sloshy it reminded them their bath at home was still running.

"Omg" they yelled and wet himself (themselves), before then laughing at the small bath tub they had a bath. The problem was the water was very very sloshy. Like water suprisingly it was shocking how the water was so clear and so like water! They then realised how sad it was to take a bath when they had a fear of spiders, so when they stepped out and saw a amssive spider creeping they screamed. The snake crawled up to hide inside the thing (at the top of the bath to stop bath overflowing that no one knows the name of). It then slithered through the pipes and died. It was a shock but everyone knew a spider dies if it gets trapped in the bath! So they decided to kill it.

The saga continues...

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#15 (permalink)

One morning, teacher, mr teach, said. I think you should open up that box of cookies, and share them with friends as they looked an old women in her eyes she died! They cried for three whole hours. They tried to resuscitate her, but at that time someone was starting up a car but he saw an odd exaust made of timber. So they went to Tibet and got a refund!

Next day, in Paris, on a lonely cold, desolate alley they napped until they stopped napping. Because the sleeping made them very fast poo makers. They all were afraid of the threat to Bananaman. Suddenly, when Dougal opened his eyes, it all went dark and he bumped into Bananaman while he was eating a delicious couscous with Katie Holmes, and David Beckham, and eight strippers wearing fishnet stockings. Bananaman and Katie did somthing outragous in Bananaman's car trunk because there lay in a pile of T-Mobile phones. They then decided to call Rocky and get this internet phone working. So they can use it against their girlfriends the gorund kissing his cheek and then Ganon and Link replacements for Starsky & Hutch decided to make it often. So no one will tell their girlfriends. Give them pushing it in to the bin where they discovered a pint of larger and a packet of crisps. The beer was cold and the crisps stale a big problem because they wanted fresh ones.

Dougal and Bananaman fight evil by candlelight with a warm hot chocolate. But one day, THEY RAN OUT of precious marshmallows!!! Chocolate sprinkles were running out too!!! It was catastrophic! He would have to go out of his room and have to stop for the elephant to be kissed and hugged softly. They bought more candyfloss from the geriatric salsa dancer who was paid in Brazillian pennies and sweet wrappers with polka dotted underwear and tail from the Amazon..co.uk really cheap online super mega-store when all of a sudden the Amazon store disappeared into-a cyber oblivion!

Our heroes went to the toilet for a long hard struggle to plunge yesterday's burritos into shepherds pie which tasted like shards of glass. ...


Please continue to read. Will the chickens ever get across the road? Can Rocky and Bulwinkle stop the tiger and flying dragons? Will the politicians continue to...whatever? Will Bilbo have some Cheese Whiz? Will Katie receive another phone call? These questions and more, will only be answered in due time! Maybe...

Dave

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#16 (permalink)

Our heroes went to the toilet for a long hard struggle to plunge yesterday's burritos into shepherds pie which tasted like shards of glass with beef bouillon in gravy sauce with little floating bug in it.

Suddenly, one of them jumped up and digested the bloke's big nose and green was hanging out. Someone came up and threw up over the swerdess(?). He noticed something that was sticky. What is this!!!? It was a, scratches his head, it cant be!, a pink elephant on a trampoleeeeeeen!
Am i dreaming!!? with orange balloons and red balloons, but no I wanted green balloons and so the guy from behind said, "Hey wait! o never mind. This then started I want the big one over there next to the marmoset monkey that is extremely curious about me and me he gave a wink and a smile and then he gave me his beach ball. He threw it at my head again and again. I was dizzy and was drunk and very high on surgery coke and suddenly the big green martian went HOHOHO the Green Giant. The red martian went to the bathroom and then took out his huge long hairy arm to hold blue toilet paper.

Knock, knock, knock. "MUM I'M BUSY!" His hairy arm and he shaved then ... suddenly... poof a meter Long! of his ear...

The Martian, frustrated about nothing, "Kaboom!" Its disguise was a Roman helmet and a Swiss skirt. "What a combination," said the Mother to her gray and beloved grandson shaking her head when suddenly it started raining chickens!!! And the Mother grabbed her hatchet and started swinging. Then her grandson starting crying like a doomed chicken enjoying its last mercy cluck. Then both of them were vaporized by, (but not died), as in spa, No, annihilated by a deep dream. Never sleep, because there is too much danger from falling asleep today. You might just sleep with one too many Boogeymen!

The next day, they went nature trailing (as dirt). There they prayed, "Don't trample us!" A little bird chirping madly, flew after they returned hurtling, in flames!!! They healed it, flew again.. then... they could behold a very stinky pond with fishes. Adopt a fish!

Meanwhile Dougal and grandma, fed them bread and wine. Then her grandson yelled, "Hey, look what a beautiful picture!"

You see, in that picture was a chicken crossing the road. Rocky and Bullwinkle had successfully stopped the tiger and the flying dragons making it safe for politicians to do whatever they do.

Bilbo later had some more Cheese Whiz while Bananaman and Dougal went off into the sunset to play superhero at some other time.

Katie received one last phone call. She heard the voice on the other end saying, "Be still my child and rejoice for this story made up of drug crazed lunatics has finally come to an end!"

Was there closure? Only the reader can tell.


Dave

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