Well, folks, it's been fun, but I inherited $53 million from my 2nd cousin 3 times removed, who was the president of Nigeria. Now that I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams (well, it'll take a week or so for the money to arrive in my bank account, but it's in process) that means I have to stop being liberal and become a conservative. As such, a few of my beliefs have changed just a little bit.

Example. I now realize what a fantastical idea this Iraq war is, and I hope it never ends! Because if you think about it, the only real costs of the war are for poor people to be killed, but in exchange for this, a lot of the investments I'm making are paying off like nobody's business. What I'll make from my Halliburton stock, for example, justifies a war I don't personally have to fight in.

I don't believe there's any type of climate change going on, or, if there is, it's all the fault of atheistic animals. A lot of my more profitable investments have been in heavily polluting industries, and you honestly can't ask me to not profit from poor people's misery. Especially with all the air pollution and asthma in LA, I haven't even got into doctors yet. Along very similar lines, I no longer believe in gravity. What we really see are tiny angels pulling heavy things together.

I've begun to drink and drive. Like Ted Kennedy and OJ, I can afford a good lawyer. Besides, drinking and driving is a sacred Republican tradition - I've been writing my representatives urging them to legalize this behavior. I have several guns, and will shoot dead anyone who looks at my property. As a republican, I have to believe it's good when people die.

I'm really big on crime and punishment. But laws only apply to democrats. Elliot Spitzer better have quit for using prostitutes, but it's none of anyone's business that David Vitter used prostitutes. Besides, Vitter was trying to revitalize the economy in New Orleans!

April fools.

Originally Posted by Learning Newbie

Well, folks, it's been fun, but I inherited $53 million from my 2nd cousin 3 times removed, who was the president of Nigeria. Now that I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams (well, it'll take a week or so for the money to arrive in my bank account, but it's in process) that means I have to stop being liberal and become a conservative.

How much of that money will go towards taxes?

Originally Posted by Learning Newbie

Along very similar lines, I no longer believe in gravity.

I had no idea they don't believe in gravity . Is it because scientist's say gravity exists?

Originally Posted by Learning Newbie

I'm really big on crime and punishment. But laws only apply to democrats. Elliot Spitzer better have quit for using prostitutes, but it's none of anyone's business that David Vitter used prostitutes. Besides, Vitter was trying to revitalize the economy in New Orleans!

Who's David Vitter?

Originally Posted by Learning Newbie

Well, folks, it's been fun, but I inherited $53 million from my 2nd cousin 3 times removed, who was the president of Nigeria. Now that I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams (well, it'll take a week or so for the money to arrive in my bank account, but it's in process) that means I have to stop being liberal and become a conservative. As such, a few of my beliefs have changed just a little bit.

Aww. I'd get excited, except I see you've fallen for one of those Nigerian internet scams so it will take you a few weeks to realize you got taken. When you do, you'll revert to your Democrat belief system, and start rattling on again about the gay baby whales who are dieing from overly warm arctic waters. If it makes you feel any better, I'll vote Democrat this year (Republicans never have a shot in California anyway).

Jesus would let us win the Iraq war if we just nuked those gay whales. Come on, it's not like we'd notice a few less nukes in the stock pile. We paid for 'em, and what better way to remind Putin we mean business than by vaporizing commie whales?

Hey.... That doesn't sound too bad.. I mean, what good are unused nukes.

You forgot the seals and gray wolves.

Save a few nukes for the arctic penguins.

Originally Posted by joder

Save a few nukes for the arctic penguins.

If I were a military commander, I'd make sure we tactically eliminate the penguin threat first, before we see this:

Originally Posted by cbwm

Hey.... That doesn't sound too bad.. I mean, what good are unused nukes.

You forgot to ask the obvious addon, and what good are gay whales?

Well, I'll get serious now.... cuz it's fun to debate with newbie :P

Stereotyping may seem like fun, but generally won't help you to prove anything. If you want to start throwing out how "Republican politicians are a bunch of rich crooked criminals" I'll simply counter with, "Democrat politicians are a bunch of rich crooked criminals" and neither of us will be wrong. Politicians are bad and evil, and it doesn't matter which side of the aisle you're on.

I don't think I've voted "for" someone since the 1980's. We did have one good Congressman here. Now it's who will I vote against. Since in my state Republican = Religious Right, the choice is easy.

Originally Posted by mork29

Stereotyping may seem like fun, but generally won't help you to prove anything.

...........

Originally Posted by mork29

Politicians are bad and evil, and it doesn't matter which side of the aisle you're on.

You said stereotyping was fun but doesn't prove anything - then you just stereotyped all politicians. I'd say they all make mistakes (accidental or purposely) but there are plenty of them that are OK people that have the people's interests at their heart - many of the leaders do seem to be quite self interested though.