what actual pr do i have, 3 or 0 or did the other servers just never catch up

First off, you're worried about something that isn't all that important. PageRank is just one of 3 digits' worth of factors in the big G algorithm and its value has been blown WAY out of proportion.

Second...the external PageRank isn't an accurate measure since they only update it every 3-4 months.

The only thing that matters is whether you're getting visitors to your site for various keywords, targeted or otherwise. Anything else is just distraction.

only reason im curious is i have one site never did much with it holds a pr on like 7 servers and 0 on the rest, friend just got a domain from godaddy, turns out it was an old site and carries pr3 on a few servers

Again...it's one factor. It's not even worth worrying about.