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One major mistake you made in my opinion is that its filled with too much content/intimidating loads of copy. One thing you should know is that users on the net don't read, they scan. So what I would do is cut down 80% of your copy/text, and try things like bullet lists of benefits, highlights, etc of your major points that you want to get across.
I would also work on creating more of a structure to your design, this looks like it was kinda slapped on together, this seems more like a spam flyer than anything in my eyes. As a user myself, I would be turned off by it real fast.
Instead, I think you should create logical columns and organize your content so its easy to understand/consume why I should be signing up, and why its such a great deal. It would be great if you could communicate all of your content (of what you have now) in one neat little package, so in a glance and a few seconds I'm already leaning towards signing up :-)
Hope that helps!
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